Are the men OK?
Hell hath no fury like a man on the internet who receives a comment they don't like.
Hey babe,
First of all, HAPPY MASTURBATION MAY! My favorite month of the year besides October because that’s GigiWeen. Get ready for some juicy content coming your way soon.
Some relatively common but super annoying shit happened last week and I figured it would be a really great time to talk about the boundaries people in the public eye are entitled to. Because guess who are back on the warpath of being douchebags? It’s the men.
Angry men on the internet. The irony that they call US emotional when they are so easily sent into a spiral. It would be funny if it weren’t so sad. I hate to give attention to yet another man who doesn’t deserve it, but because this is newsletter today is ultimately about boundaries (and, in a way, the way men have started referring to themselves as “abuse victims” when a woman says something “mean” to them), I think it serves as a perfect example.
Let me set the scene: A guy comments on my IG picture. He seems to be asking a legitimate sex question. I respond (because I chose to) that he should seek therapy. He then went on to comment a bunch of very weird and creepy things all over about 15-25 photos. So, I blocked him and deleted the comments. Why? Because contrary to what many men think, I actually owe them nothing and can do whatever the hell I want.
After I blocked this person, I received the message below from his “friend.” As I’ve said, there is a strange new tactic men have started using. If you don’t like their vibe, if you don’t give them the response they want, if you don’t accept from them whatever the hell they’re trying to give you - they’ve appropriated the language of abuse survivors. It’s so beyond shameful that I, just now, had to go scream into a pillow. What the fuck is wrong with men, seriously? I want to know. Because ya’ll need to go have an orgasm and get the fuck off the internet immediately.
Oh, NO! A woman on the internet thought I was creepy and blocked me and now I’m so mad about it! I’m CALLING THE POLICE!
Who raised you?
Also, this is pretty clearly the same creepy man I blocked with a shiny new account, back to play victim because I BLOCKED HIM ON INSTAGRAM after he asked me a question and then went on to comment on a bunch of photos some of the weirdest shit ever. Honey, you’re not an abuse victim because someone commented a thing you thought wasn’t nice and then blocks you. This is not how it works, you fragile man-child. Literally, fuck off.
Later in the day, he went on to make yet another creepy burner account and followed me to Dr. Laurie Mintz’s IG Live (where, ironically, we answer all your sex questions FOR FREE because we care about giving people access to experts) to send a barrage of demands that Dr. Laurie acknowledge how I “abused his friend.” Obviously we didn’t acknowledge him because …. well, I don’t think I need to explain why.
If you missed the video you can watch it on Dr. Laurie’s IG account. And we are online on the last Monday of every month - so feel free to ask a questions when I post the monthly prompt asking for them. Are we seeing the difference between these two scenarios - because I hope so.
I want to make something very clear because it really feels like people don’t seem to understand this. Listen up, ok?
What I DO owe you: Responsible, well-researched journalistic articles. Accurate information about human sexuality and health.
What I DO NOT owe you: A reply to your comment, an answer to your specific question (unless you are PAYING me for my time), a reply to your email, literally anything I do not willingly want to give you.
The ONLY time I owe someone my time, energy, answers to their questions, or guidance of any kind is in my therapy or coaching room - or you are an editor who has commissioned a piece (for which you are paying me). You get my time and attention when you are someone who pays for it. I don’t know why this is so hard to understand for people (it’s men, let’s be real). The entitlement is sometimes so shocking I can hardly handle it.
You’d think after 10 years of writing on the internet and being told every single day what a horrible c*nt I am followed by a message (often from the same person) asking for nude pics - that I’d be used to this shit. But honestly, it still gets me sometimes. I get rape threats every single day of my life. Every single day. And women are just so, so emotional, right?
I can block whomever I choose to block, at any time I choose to do so. Why? Because my social media is `MY social media. If I think you’re being creepy, weird, or you’re JUST GIVING ME A BAD VIBE, I can block you and I am well within my right to do so. It’s as simple as that, sweetie.
Lastly, if you take the language of abuse survivors and use it to propagate your entitlement to a woman’s (or any person of any gender or non-gender) time, you are a piece of shit. And guess what my advice is for this guy, after all of this fuckery: Go to therapy, my dude. Because you clearly really, really desperately need it.
This week’s mantras:
I do not owe anyone my energy.
I will respect my own boundaries.
I will not allow myself to be made responsible for the actions of angry, sad men.
I will fucking LOVE myself.
I love you. Have a great week!
XOXO Auntie G
~Good ReadsSsSssSsSs~
What is ‘Fluid Bonding’ And Is It Safe?
For TheBody, I did an investigation into fluid bonding, something people know very little about - especially when it comes to protecting your sexual health. While fluid bonding is very common among monogamous couples, it also exists widely in polyamorous circles, wherein people have consensual sex with multiple partners. “In poly circles, having barrierless intercourse where genital fluids can be exchanged is a big step for a partnership to agree to
How to Talk to Kids and Teens About Sex And Consent
A few weeks ago, the Australias government released this weird-ass video about milkshakes.
The point of the video? To teach people about sexual consent. Guess what the video does not say, at any point, during this video: Sexual consent. It missed the mark so hard it may as well have just been a commercial about milkshakes. This article from The Conversation provides much better resources for anyone who wants to talk to kids and teens about sex and consent.
How to Shave Your Bikini Line Without Getting Razor Burn
In honor of HOT VAX SUMMER. Now, I’m really all about everyone managing their pubes however they see fit, but I am personally SUPER against waxing. Why? Because it hurts like hell and the only reason I was ever into it was because I had an idea in my head that people wouldn’t think I was sexy unless I did it. The thing is, shaving can also be dangerous, cause razor burn, and even increase the risk of STI transmission. I enjoyed this guide from Glamour, as it breaks down the process of shaving in a safe, gentle way quite well.
And here’s a video all about the evolution of how we manage our public hair!
~Ask Gigi~
Ask Gigi: Are Nipple Orgasms Real?
The nipples are truly amazing and underrated. Like so many other erogenous zones, the breasts are jam packed with nerves. When stimulated, it can be highly arousing … and even orgasmic. An orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm, but when they begin in different parts of the body, the sensations can be different.
That’s it for me this week, pals. I love you. That’s it for me, babes. Remember that you are in control of your own destiny and nothing is stopping you from making your life just as wonderful as you want it to be. And you really, really deserve it. All of it!
