You can 8rga$m without ejacul8ing.

The low-down on dry 8rgams.

[This newsletter will always be free to read, but it’s also how I supplement bills and such - which allows me the flexibility to bring you the best possible sex education every week. So, if you like what you read, please consider a paid subscription.]

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Hey babe,

There is a pretty straightforward cultural understanding of how the male arousal process works: you get turned on, get an erection, orgasm and then ejaculate. Bing, bang, boom. 

Surprise! It’s actually not such a simple story because some people orgasm without ejaculating at all, which is called a “dry orgasm.” Basically, you reach climax, but you don’t release semen. Some people may experience this regularly, some only occasionally and others not at all. Because bodies are complicated.

If this is something that you’ve experienced, there’s no need to feel shame about it. Everyone is different and bodies are hella weird and complex.

In the interest of knowing how our bodies function, let’s take a closer look at dry orgasms — how they work, why they happen, and the interesting difference between an orgasm and ejaculation.

What the heck is a dry orgasm?

Dry orgasm (aka: anejaculation) happens when you reach climax - but the penis does not release semen. Ya don’t jizz, to put it in scientific terms. 

So, you get an erection, you stimulate it, you climax and then no semen is produced. This can happen during sexy time - or even during your sleep. Basically, it can happen during any climactic sexual experience.

While it can be quite alarming if you’re not used to it, it’s not usually cause for concern. Dry orgasm is sometimes a side effect of other health issues and medication, but it’s not in and of itself a health issue.

Say what? You can orgasm with ejaculating?

YOU CAN. And the science behind it is very cool. While typically experienced simultaneously, orgasm and ejaculation are actually two separate bodily functions. 

Orgasms are neurological phenomena, meaning they happen in the brain and spinal cord. This is why studies have shown that people who have quadriplegia can still possess the ability to orgasm, even if they experience no sensation in their genitals. 

You can even learn how to do it, to which you might ask: why would I want that? The answer: multiple orgasms. 

Usually when someone with a penis ejaculates, there is a period of a few minutes to a few hours (or even days) before they can become aroused again. This is called “the refractory period,” and it’s why it can be difficult for people with penises to be multiple orgasmic. 

You can learn to do with through deep breathing, concentration, edging - all part ancient tantric practices that are hella cool. Give it a Google, if you’re down to clown.

This won’t work for everyone, but it could be a fun and interesting thing to try.

The main causes for dry orgasms.

Retrograde ejaculation 

You may think you’re experiencing a truly “dry” orgasm, but it could actually be retrograde ejaculation. This happens when semen is pushed back through the bladder instead of out through the penis. 

It isn’t “normal,” but it isn’t usually harmful. It’s usually caused by certain medications.

Chronic Health Issues

Chronic health issues that affect the nervous system can cause dry orgasm, as you need to have a functioning nervous system response to get an erection and produce semen. Because some chronic health problems disrupt the nervous system - this can seriously impact you erections. You need a fully functioning nervous system for sexual response to occur. Again, bodies, man, they’re wild.

Maybe you’ve been going at it a little too hard, ya know?

It could be that you’ve orgasmed a bunch of times in a row and you’ve run out of … juice. I’m so sorry (I’m not sorry). This means that you have a short refractory period. When you ejaculate several times in quick succession, your semen production may not have caught up with your desire yet. If this is something you’re not loving for yourself, take a longer break between sessions.

Other causes of dry orgasms could include medications, enlarged prostate, low testosterone levels, mood disorders, a blocked sperm duct, low sperm count and cancer treatment.

When to see your doc.

With all that being said, if this happens a lot, you should see a doctor. It’s best to be safe about your health. Tests can rule out or confirm retrograde ejaculation.

Dry orgasms can also present a problem if you’re trying to conceive, as producing semen is an obvious must for natural conception. Your doctor may want to perform more tests and discuss your options with you.

But most of the time, dry orgasms are usually nothing to be concerned about and are actually quite common. We just don’t talk about them because we have garbage sex education and toxic ideas around what it means to be a “man” and “spread your seed.” (Gross, btw).

This week’s mantras:
1. I accept my sexuality the way it is.
2. I deserve lots of pleasure.
3. I will love myself.

I love you. Have a great week!

XOXO Auntie Gigi

Part of this newsletter originally appeared on TheBody.

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~Good ReadsSsSssSsSs~

• Humans are weird. And as this is the case, we do a lot of weird things. Moaning during sex, for instance. What is the deal with that? Odds are, you're moaning because you're enjoying yourself. It's a natural, animalistic response on the most basic of levels. When we're feeling pleasure, we start to lose control over our bodies. The nervous system takes a back seat and we can't control the sounds that come out as a result. Read more about moaning. - COSMO

• What does it mean to have “HIV phobia”? I explored this topic for TheBody. HIV phobia is an intense, irrational, overwhelming fear of getting (or already having) HIV/AIDS, despite there being evidence to the contrary. This means you obsess, hyperfocus, and constantly think about getting or having HIV. It becomes a true issue when it starts taking over your thoughts and impacting your way of life, causing distress. Learn more. - THEBODY

• Is it safe to swallow semen? In this article for TheBody, I explored this down to its nuts and bolts. Oral sex (and semen/cum swallowing) is less likely to spread an STI than vaginal or anal penetration with a penis, but it isn’t impossible. Read more and stay safer. - THEBODY

• What does it mean to have sexual compatibility? I have the full low-down to Women’s Health. Read more and learn more. - WOMEN’S HEALTH

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That’s it for me this week, pals. I love you. Remember the drink lots of water because a hydrated bitch is a bad bitch.