Burnt the hell out.
It's taken most of my professional career, but I'm starting to crash.
Hey babe,
I know this may make you want to punch me in the face, but I don’t experience a lot of burn out. In fact, I’ve never burned out before. I’ve found it pretty hard to relate to people who say they’re burnt out. I empathize, of course, but it’s not something I’ve felt in my own sphere.
The reason? I’m usually pumping with so much anxiety and energy that I need to run myself out to the point of crashing on a daily basis in order to sleep. LOL it’s so fun.
Or at least that’s how it was before I got back into therapy a year ago and figured out how PTSD has been affecting me on an almost cellular level for my entire adult life. Now I’m sleeping again without medication and have my anxiety managed to a point where I don’t feel like throwing up a lot of the time.
And now my energy levels are no longer so intense that I need to run at 110% from sun-up to late at night in order to sleep for a few hours. With normal human energy levels, burn out is much closer. I haven’t ever had to conserve energy before so now that I need to do this, I tend not to.
On top of that, I’ve been having a lot of health issues. I’m experiencing chronic hand and wrist pain that I’ve been ignoring since November. I’ve kept pushing myself, re-injuring and re-inflaming my joints, and then still not stopping. So I’ve reached a breaking point. The pain eventually became unbearable and I had to face the facts: I have rheumatoid arthritis and have to stop acting like I don’t. I’m burning out because my body is using what little energy is has to try and heal me, but I don’t let it finish healing what it can. The reserves are empty.
So, I’m starting to take care of myself again. I’m listening to my body when it says I can’t type anymore today, I put the damn hand weight down forever, and I’ve recruited a team of doctors to finally get all the scans, bloodwork, and imaging I need done here in London in order to make a game plan to treat my illness. I even take a lot of afternoons off to watch Parks and Rec and NAP!
Anyway, on the bright-side, I did get to finally make a vaccine appointment so I’m really looking forward to that!
My point of all this is to say, it’s completely OK to take care of yourself when you need it. We live in a world that is so hell-bent on overworking us and making us staying at max productivity that we wind up burning ourselves to the bone instead of living our lives.
Do what you need to do to stay safe, healthy, and feel supported. No one lies on their deathbed and wishes they spent more time in the office doing spreadsheets or clocking more hours on that project. People lie on their deathbeds and wish they’d spent more time with the people they love, doing the things they care about.
I don’t want to be the person who spent so much time trying to be a social media person-writer-graphic designer-audio engineer-author-therapist that I missed out on everything else. I love my job, but it’s not the only thing I love.
This week’s mantras:
It’s OK to take a break.
I deserve rest.
I don’t need to make a ton of money to be successful, I need love and friendship.
My career is not the center of my identity.
I will love myself.
I love you. Have a great week!
XOXO Auntie Gigi
~Good ReadsSsSssSsSs~
Why Are We So Obsessed With Age Gaps in Relationships?
For The Body this week, I explored why we’re so intent on judging on people in relationships with larger age-gaps. Age may be a hard fact, but when it comes to dating someone older than you, age can be totally subjective—and this could be a great fit for you. We’re really quick, even in 2021, to denote these relationships as “weird” or “creepy,” when they’re actually just about humans being humans.
Here's Why Ethical Porn Is the Best Porn You Can Watch
For Men’s Health, I ventured into the beautiful land of Ethical Porn and why it’s such a critical form of erotic material - especially for women and sexual minorities. Not all porn is created equal. Mainstream porn—think, the videos you find on free tube sites, most of which are geared toward cisgender, heterosexual men—often has all kinds of questionable practices going on behind the scenes, not to mention in them. Enter: Ethical porn.
The Venus Butterfly Position Might Be the Greatest Sex Technique Ever
It’s not a secret that I am obsessed with any position that puts female pleasure front and center. The Venus Butterfly is all about that life. It is a sex position that focuses on the vulva, combining internal stimulation of the vagina and G-spot area with external stimulation of the clitoral glans.
~Ask Gigi~
Ask Gigi: What We All Should Know About ``’Deep Throating’
Some men enjoy the idea of deep throating - and some women love doing it. But often it’s the intentions that need to be questioned. The “WHY.” Why do you want to deep throat or have some deep throat you? What are you getting out of this experience?
That’s it for me this week, pals. I love you. Take care of yourself and remember that your comfort, well-being, and health are important and deserve to be a priority. You got this. Now, go have an orgasm and a nap (after work, I guess whatever).
