How to make a m@sturb8tion routine.
Because you deserve this level of self-care.
[This newsletter will always be free to read, but it’s also how I supplement bills and such - which allows me the flexibility to bring you the best possible sex education every week. So, if you like what you read, please consider a paid subscription.]
Hey babe,
Masturbation is incredible, folks. . Orgasms are about so much more than one-and-done pleasure, they’re actually good for you and your overall well-being.
And yet, we tend to have trouble masturbating on the regular. We’re all so busy with work, partners, friends, and family that self-love (and all sex, really) tends to take a back seat. We always think we need to get everything finished on the old ‘To-Do List’ and take care of everyone else in our lives before we can indulge in something ~so hedonistic.~
Here’s the skinny though: It is not strictly hedonistic. It is essential. It’s about seeing self-love as self-care and something to value. Masturbation is about centering yourself and honoring your health.
What’s more, when we don’t cultivate our desire, it tends to peter out. As they say, when you don’t use it, you lose it.
Here is how to create a masturbation routine.
Why a routine for self-love though?
We need to get masturbation stationed right onto the G-cal (or at the very least, placed on the ‘To-Do List’).
Creating a masturbation routine is as important as your gym routine. Just like going to the gym, creating a structure around your self-touch habits is how you stick to them. And look, we get that ‘making a routine’ doesn’t sound super sexy, but doing it regularly allows you to gain the max benis from all the health benefits. Orgasms are natural benzos.
Masturbating regularly can make doing all of your other maintenance tasks easier. It even helps us make better decisions. It helps to reduce stress by lowering levels of cortisol, Cortisol is our body’s stress hormone. Once we orgasm, cortisol levels drop and we can feel more grounded and capable of critical thinking.
Plus, it’s great for the pelvic floor. This means no more of the old sneeze’n’pee, better bladder control, improved posture, and even stronger orgasms.
5 steps to make a masturbation routine that lasts.
1. Get into the right mindset.
Most of us are very used to being self-critical and think we’re never doing enough. We’re conditioned to put the needs of others first and consider our own last. This is not a sustainable or healthy way to live. We need to prioritize our own needs and pleasure in order to be a fully functioning and grounded person.
Remind yourself that this is time for YOU and you deserve it.
When we’re in a mindset that what we’re doing is right, healthy, and an appropriate use of time, it gets easier to make a habit of it.
2. Get it on the schedule.
We schedule everything else in our lives, why not a wank? You don’t have to write ‘Rub One Out’ on the G-cal, but popping in a little note that says ‘self-care’ or ‘me-time’ can be a good reminder to have an O each day or week.
Of course, if you want to make it a quickie with yourself, more power to you. We’re all busy people. The point is to have it there, in writing, ready to be crossed off the list (in a fun way).
3. Seduce yourself throughout the day.
When you have ‘lil ‘me-date’ on the calendar, you can start to build yourself up to it. When we push tasks away from our minds, they can start to seem daunting. Just think about that Spin class you signed up for on Thursday that is quickly approaching.
Instead of turning masturbation into some overwhelming thing you don’t want to do, start to fantasize. This isn’t a chore, it’s an indulgence. Enjoy it.
4. Set the mood.
If you have a certain setup for masturbation – one that makes you feel safe and grounded, you’re more likely to do it regularly. Make sure your spaces tidy and inviting so you limit distractions.
Then, amp up the sensuality of the space so you start to associate the whole experience with feeling relaxed and good. Lighting, music, smells — really lean into it.
5. Have some fun.
And, of course, have fun with it. Get toys. Try new positions. Make it a truly enjoyable experience so you feel compelled to come back for more next time.
And there you have it — the masturbation routine of your dreams. I hope you love it.
This week’s mantras:
I am worthy of pleasure.
I am priority.
I will love myself.
I love you. Have a great week!
XOXO Auntie Gigi
Part of this newsletter originally appeared on Mashable.
~Good ReadsSsSssSsSs~
The absolutely brilliant (and often featured in my own work), Dr. Evan Sprankle has written a FABULOUS new book that I have been dying to read. I’m so excited it’s finally here. You’re going to love it. It is “the first-ever social and scientific history of masturbation, which unapologetically critiques a system that has sought to control the very human desire for self-pleasure.” Buy the book.
Ever heard of somatic healing? '“Somatic healing, which addresses physical tension and trapped bodily sensations, removes the pent-up barriers that block us from receiving that tenderness. By releasing the stressful grips of past traumas, we open up space for emotional regulation and the capacity to show up fully in intimate moments.” and it can really help in intimate relationships — specifically for folx who have experienced trauma. Read more. - VERYWELLMIND
This is kind of an old piece from Zachary Zane at Men’s Health, but I really loved it. It’s about sexual orientation OCD and how it can negatively impact people’s lives and stop them from fully embracing their true authentic selves. Zach gets very personal and vulnerable and I just loved reading it. “My psychiatrist not only made my OCD worse, but cut off the self-exploration that could have led to me to embrace my bisexuality way sooner,” he writes. Read more. - MEN’S HEALTH
Weekly LOL
And they say romance is dead.
That’s it for me this week, pals. I love you. You deserve pleasure and care and to be priority. Don’t forget it.
