How to make the most of 'Locktober'
Your questions on this joyous month of chastity, answered.
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Hey babe,
OK, so maybe you opened this newsletter asking: What the f*ck is Locktober? Don’t worry, you’re not alone.
In a nutshell (pun intended and you’ll see why): Locktober is a month long chastity agreement between a Dom and a sub. Kinky dinky.
Locktober is a jolly fun, month-long activity in which subs (usually cis-men) where cock cages and/or chastity belts. It’s usually practiced within the kink community. The keyholder is the Dom, usually (but not always) a femme Dom. The term is a cute combination of “Lock” and “October.” Essentially, it’s a a way to celebrate chastity kinks.
A little CBT for the colder months, if you will.
The idea is that in this consensual month, the sub will wear the cock cage to prevent erections and orgasms.
This is, crucially, entirely consensual for both parties involved, has a lot of negotiation attached to it, and is ultimately for sexual excitement.
Locktober, an origin story.
The earliest origins of Locktober date back to 2015, when the tradition began seeing a lot of traction on kink-focused forums such as Reddit. Chasity kinks themselves have been around for ages -- I’m not sure when the first cock cage appeared, but this practice is very common in the kink community.
This tradition of Locktober is to celebrate one’s kinks that might otherwise be shrouded in shame. And no one deserves to feel shame about their kinks!
Locktober and its connection to No Nut November.
OK, so I know this sounds a bit like NoFap and NoNutNovember — and there is a reason for that. Locktober it’s a bit of a tongue-in-cheek take on No Nut November.
Where NoNut is centered around not orgasming and ejaculating to “sustain manhood” and other such ridiculous and unfounded claims, Locktober aims to celebrate kink, consensual chastity, and sex positivity.
So, while abstinence is present in both trends, one is based in toxic masculine ideas about semen retention, and the other is a celebration of sexuality -- and all its diversity.
TL;DR: No Nut November sucks ass and Locktober is fun and awesome.
3 tips for having a super rad Locktober.
Have a safe word
You want to be sure you and your Dom have a safe word in place, in case you do want to take that cage off -- for whatever reason. Kink is a consensual practice and everyone involved has agency.
Have agreed upon timelines
How often are you wearing the cage? Only in certain situations? During play? All the time? Get clear about the boundaries and timelines, as this play can span over the course of the whole month.
Do it for the right reasons
If you’re exploring a chastity kink, power play, and all that other wonderful stuff -- get after it! If, however, you’ve found yourself wanting to engage in this because you’ve seen the online discourse about the “benefits” of semen retention and see this as a way of preventing ejaculation for unfounded, scientific reasons, it’s worth doing some research. Because, honestly, No Nut November is a waste of your time and energy. Sorry not sorry.
And lastly, HAVE FUN! This is such a wonderful way to celebrate kink and enjoy desires that are taboo. You deserve to have the best time. Stay safe, observe your boundaries, honor your triggers, and have a blast (but not literally!).
Happy LOCKTOBER, cuties!
This week’s mantras:
Sexual diversity is a beautiful thing. I deserve to celebrate that part of myself.
Whatever happens between consenting adults is no one else’s business.
I will love myself.
I love you. Have a great week!
XOXO Auntie Gigi
~Good ReadsSsSssSsSs~
I loved this personal essay on dating a trans person. It was really impactful and wise. Read more. — COSMO
This performative boyfriends made me a do a double take. Admittedly, it’s been many years since I was on the dating scene as a single woman … but is the bar in hell?
A performative male, or performative boyfriend, is a man who adopts a version of masculinity that’s been sold as attractive to the female gaze.
The video player is currently playing an ad. You can skip the ad in 5 sec with a mouse or keyboard He prefers iced coffee to hot, listens to Chappell Roan on repeat, and collects Labubus to give to his girlfriend.
The performative boyfriend invites all your closest girlfriends to date night and goes out of his way to learn how to make Tiramisu so that you can enjoy your favourite dessert on Sundays.
Is this all an act? Am I being unfair? Unclear. Read more. — METRO
Is princess treatment a good thing … or not? Writer Iris Goldsztajn wants to know. Or, namely, Goldsztajn wants to know if some people are taking this too far. Read more. — The Huffington Post
Weekly LOL
Humans, man. A strange bunch.
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That’s it for me this week, pals. I love you.






