Is age just a number? Let's talk about age-gap relationships.

I was asked a few important questions on the topic ... and had a lot to say.

Aug 11, 2025

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Hey babe,

A journalist reached out and wanted me to answer some questions about age-gap relationships — and I find this topic very interesting so, of course I agreed. Here is what I was asked.

Why do you think people are more openly exploring age gap relationships?

I'm not entirely sure it's fair to say more people are exploring age gap relationships because I think people have always explored these kinds of relationships, but I do think more people are open about it and we're talking about it more. It seems that we're moving further away from the societal taboos around these kinds of relationships and moving into a more accepting space for people to explore whatever kinds of relationships they want to. As we move away from a narrative of stigma and shame, we can see people stepping into relationships that feel authentic to them without as much fear of judgement.

Why are age gap relationships treated as a taboo topic?

Judging these relationships has long-been a cultural prejudice that we accept as normal and fine. It’s considered OK to say you’re “grossed out” by an age-gap relationship. In the past (and to some extent, still to this day) people generally accept that it’s strange. Basically it has been this way in the past due to a lack of visibility. And when there is visibility, it’s displayed in a highly negative manner. Look at the public perception of any older actor and his twenty-something bride, as an example.

People are obsessed with age-gaps in relationships because of certain perceived implications. The perception of power imbalances are the crux of our cultural distrust. There is a collective idea that if one person is older, they must be the controlling partner - whether that be with money, power, or both. The younger person is viewed as being vapid, interested in being taken care of, and often, for lack of a better word, air-headed.

We don’t leave room for nuance in these relationships, taking them entirely at face-value rather than as individual couples who make a conscious choice to be together. This is pretty messed up. While power imbalances may be in the mix, who’s to say these couples aren’t genuinely in love and happy?

How have dating apps or social media changed attitudes to age gap relationships?

I'd say it's a lot about visibility and access. We're seeing a lot more age-gaps, especially with older women and younger men -- and therefore, more people feel like they can have these kinds of relationships. With dating apps, you're able to set wider age differences so people in older age groups and, to some extent, different times of their lives or economic brackets may come into play for you.

Is age just a number?

In a way, yes. Age may be a hard fact, but when it comes to dating someone older than you, age can be totally subjective -- and it could be a great fit for you. Honestly, as long as everyone is a consenting adult, it's not anyone's business what's going on between them.

With that being said, if you and your partner have an age-gap relationship, there can be some red flags that shouldn’t be ignored just because you want to stick it to society’s norms. If you’re in a happy relationship with someone significantly older or younger than you, that's fab for you, but that doesn’t mean your relationship won’t require work and communication.

Since there is an age-gap, there will also be age-gap related challenges that will require working through. People have different abilities and limitations no matter their age, but if you have a much younger person with an older person, there will likely be barriers that need commitment to overcome. But this is true of every kind of relationship: There will be challenges, but they can usually be worked through if everyone is willing to put that work in.

This week’s mantras:

Relationships should be based on consent and communication.
Adult partnerships include equality and boundaries.
I will love myself.

I love you. Have a great week!

XOXO Auntie Gigi

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