Masturbation is self-preservation.
Masturbating through the uncertainty of the coming months and leaning into pleasure might be the only way we survive.
Hey, unicorn baby!
What a damn week we had, huh? I was completely burnt out by Wednesday and could barely focus. White supremacists storming the capitol? What the living fuck. I’m sure you’re all pretty exhausted by this conversation so, that’s all I’ll say about it.
You probably noticed per the email subject line that Weekly Wisdom has gotten a bit of a facelift with a brand new name: The G-Spot. I hope you like it! You guys helped me pick it out, so thank you if you participated in the poll I ran on IG last week.
I’ve been thinking a lot about masturbation and what it means to me, like what it really means to me. I want to get a little deep here today on my profound love of masturbation as a means to human survival.
Perhaps you find my evangelical diatribes on the benefits of masturbation to be exhausting - and if you do, I’m sorry, but I don’t really give a shit and you can go fuck yourself (literally, please, do it for everyone, you cranky bitch) :)
ANYWAY.
Like I said, I want to talk about jerking off and energy and survival. And no, not reiki woo-woo stuff - but the real energy that lives in us. Our life-force. Our minds. Our connection to ourselves. I want us to think about the ways we can influence our energy and alter our thoughts.
I think the root of everything is connecting our minds to our bodies through touching ourselves. It’s just fucking true. Give me a P to the L to the EASURE: PLEASURE. It’s the way we tap into that devastatingly gorgeous life force that feels trapped in the recesses of our bodies and minds - out of reach. It’s like a conduit to enlightenment. OK, maybe I am getting a little woo-woo, but this shit is backed by science.
Masturbation goes beyond the mere electricity of an orgasm. Masturbation is self-preservation right now.
Firstly, I know it’s hard to even think about self-love in a time of so much anxiety. I don’t know about you, but I am so fatigued by this pandemic that it almost seems impossible. I spend all day feeling on edge and exhausted - wanting to go to sleep. Then, when I get into bed, I toss and turn for hours, getting up to pee every six minutes because my body has seemingly forgotten how to let go and relax. My knees hurt. My hips hurt. My heart hurts.
I didn’t know it was even possible to feel this overcome with the blues - coupled with a forbidding sense of dread. All of the uncertainty and anxiety we carry into this next however-long is scary.
Masturbating through the uncertainty of the coming months and leaning into pleasure might be the only way we survive. Our sexual pleasure is one of the few luxuries in which we can indulge without being a complete, irresponsible asshole.
Masturbating and orgasm have a slew of benefits — and that includes better mood, lessened anxiety, and an increased sense of well-being. So, really, masturbating will make quarantined life better for you and everyone around you.
Masturbation is normal and healthy (and objectively awesome). Plus, it makes sex with partners better. Why? Because you need to learn what brings your body pleasure in order to have better sex. Studies have even shown that masturbating makes your libido higher, your vaginal lubrication more plentiful, and even makes you more likely to want to engage in partnered sex.
Orgasms are amazing and you deserve to have as many as you want, forever and always. No, you can't get addicted to your vibrator. That is a myth.
We are all just trying to survive right now. Go forth, get that self-love action, and have fun with your gorgeous body. Go! Go now!
This week’s mantras:
I love my body. My body is home.
My pleasure is valid. My needs are valid.
I will love myself.
I love you. Have a great week.
XOXO Auntie Gigi
~Life advice of the week~
~Good reads of the week~
Why Are We So Into Sex With Strangers?
For Dame’s Swell this week, I explored the erotic charge many of us get from the anonymity of sex with a stranger - particularly a masked stranger. There is a familiar, almost titillating cadence to the term “stranger danger.” It may be the “am I about to die?” terror, or it may be the anonymity of this stranger who holds a life in their hands, but something gives us that tingle. Why are some people turned on by scary masks? People get turned on by everything from Freddie Krueger’s gruesome face to the bunny head from Donnie Darko. We’re hot for the ultra-freaky.
The Surprising Anatomical Similarities Between Penises and Clitorises
For Shape Magazine, I covered the anatomical similarities between the clitoris and the penis - which are virtually identical! In fact, all buddy fetuses actually begin as cis-female, meaning that everyone begins their development in the womb with a clitoris.
I Had Sex With My Girlfriend’s Sister During Thanksgiving
I had sex with my girlfriend's sister. We were all very drunk over Thanksgiving and we did it in the bathroom. I have not spoken to her sister since. I think it's clear neither of us ever want to speak of this again, but I also feel so guilty and awful. I don't know whether to confess to my girlfriend or not.
I can’t say I agree with the take (I personally think you’re obligated to share that you cheated on your girlfriend with her sister), but it’s always great to see different perspectives from other professionals in the field. It just goes to show how nuanced human sexuality really is. There is rarely ever a clear “right” or a “wrong” way of handling difficult sexual situations.
ARTICLE BY: Zachary Zane for Sexplain It
What It Means to Be A ‘Brat’ In BDSM
For Men’s Health, I explored what it means to be a “brat” in a BDSM, Dom/sub relationship. A brat is a consensual role the submissive takes on because they enjoy being a little bit of an as*hole to their dominant partner, (also stylized as Dom, with a capital D), which of course can lead to some consensual punishment, such as a spanking. *wink wink*
How to Avoid the “Pursuer-Distancer” Dynamic in Dating
We often label this imbalance in relationships pursuer-distancer. In family systems theory this helps to restore homeostasis, yin and yang, so to speak. In attachment theory we label the pursuer as the anxious-attached and the distancer as avoidant-attached.
I found this piece to be really enlightening - especially the section on jealousy and how our bodies and brains respond to rejection in a “fight or flight” way.
ARTICLE BY: Moushumi Ghose for Swell
What You Need to Know About HPV
For The Body, I took a deep-dive into the human papillomavirus to get you all the information you need on this (extremely, extremely common) STI. Yes, HPV is an STI, but the vast majority of cases of HPV go away all on their own about 90% of the time. People are afraid to talk about HPV, when it is as ordinary as getting a cold. When we don’t talk about it, we can only do harm. Information is power.
~ASK GIGI~
How Do I Get My Girlfriend to Want More Sex?
Everyone has a different libido. Rarely do couples perfectly align in this respect. Expecting everyone to want sex the same amount isn’t realistic.
How Can Couples Navigate Difficult Conversations About Sex?
If you just try to "let it flow," you'll never talk about it and you'll never get the sex life you want. If you think talking about sex is going to ruin the magic, what magic is there?
That’s it for me this week, unicorn. Remember to drink lots of water and masturbate daily. I’ll be back next Monday. Don’t forget to share this week’s G-Spot, if it was good for you, too!
Go forth and live it up, babe. I love you very much.
XOXO
