What is the deal with the reverse cowgirl sex position?
And is it even worth doing?
Hey babe,
Hope you had a glorious weekend. Let’s get this one started with some spice. And by that I mean sex positions. Specifically, the reverse cowgirl sex position because I’m not entirely sure why we’re all so obsessed with it. Sure, people enjoy different things and what not, but why are we so into positions that were clear created for men by men?
Anyone who has ever tried reverse cowgirl will understand what I mean by this. The visual appeal, the position itself, and the lack of work usually benefit the bottom the most. The top, meanwhile, has a lot of thigh burn and very little pleasure. But let’s try to break it down and see if we can make work for you, if it’s your thing. Here’s what’s up.
What is reverse-cowgirl, anyway?
Reverse cowgirl is when the penetrating partner lies on their back, legs straight out in front of them. The receiver sits on top, legs on either side of the partner, faced away from them (towards their feet). It literally looks like you're riding a horse backwards. This can be done both with vaginal and anal penetration - but anal would certainly take more maneuvering. I wouldn't suggest reverse cowgirl with anal sex unless you're a very seasoned anal sex-haver.
Why this position doesn’t work for everyone.
Vaginas are not supposed to be entered from that angle (technically speaking). The vaginal opening is meant to be entered at an upward-sloping angle. It’s just the way the vagina is physically shaped inside the body That is why penises and dildos goe in comfortably during a regular cowgirl or missionary position: the opening is the same shape as the penis/strap on etc.
In reverse cowgirl, you are literally trying to stick a penis, dildo, vibrator etc. into your vagina at an angle which the vagina does not naturally follow. A penis is still curving up towards your partner’s belly button in reverse, so when you’re in this position, it bangs up against your public bone while you’re trying to get it in there. For some people, this might be uncomfortable or even painful.
Cardio is death. For any person who despises cardio to the very core of their existence, cowgirl in any shape or form, will not rank highly on their list of go-to sex positions. Bouncing up and down is completely exhausting. Before the 10-15 minute session is through, you might be overly exerted and that's not very pleasurable.
Reverse cowgirl is even more exhausting than regular cowgirl because there is very little room to take a break to grind against the penis/dildo/vibe inside you. You have a smaller range of motion in reverse cowgirl. It can also be difficult to move in any way that you find remotely pleasurable. When done the "classic way" (sitting up straight), it's like being in a constant squat. The thigh-burn is so real.
Make this position more comfortable with props.
Sometimes reverse cowgirl can be too deep and that can be uncomfortable or even painful. No one needs that in their lives. Grab some pillows for some extra knee support. Known as “The Supported Reverse Cowgirl,” this lifted position can help you control depth. You can also have your giving partner prop their knees up at an angle. This gives you a place allows to brace yourself by holding onto their knees. If you need extra penetration control, you can also enlist the help of a wearable like OhNut, which is designed specifically to help vulva-owners control the depth of penetration.
Get the nipples in on your reverse cowgirl jam.
You can reach up and pinch your own nipples during reverse cowgirl, which can make it feel more erotic and increase pleasure.
Another way to get your nipples in on the action is to have your partner sit up so you're sitting on their lap. This way you can lean back into them and they can reach around you to stimulate the nipples. This position also helps to stabilize you, which can help with the dreaded thigh burn. They're essentially holding you up while stimulating your breasts.
Toys to use during reverse cowgirl to make it spicy.
There are so many different ways to bring toys in on your ride. If you or a partner has a penis, add a cock ring for added firmness and mutual pleasure. This can be especially helpful if the penis haver doesn't maintain erections as easily in a bottom position. You can get a cock ring with a lifted top (designed for clitoral stimulation) and put the stimulator on the bottom of the penis so it can access your clitoris.
If you have a love of wand vibrators, you might enjoy bringing it into reverse cowgirl (or riding backwards). The Magic Wand or Le Wand are great for this position because while sitting upright, you can grind against the head of the wand for maximum pleasure.
Lastly, clitoral sucking vibrators can be great for this position because you just have to hold them over the clitoris and let them to their thing. My favorite is the Biird from OSuga.
This week’s mantras:
Sex positions do not make sex great, pleasure makes sex great.
Pain or discomfort during sex are not normal.
Sexual pleasure is my birthright.
I will love myself.
I love you. Have a great week!
XOXO Auntie Gigi
Don’t forget to vote in the PleaseMe Awards! I’m nominated and that is VVV cool. If you love my work and this newsletter, I’d so appreciate your taking the time, honey bun.
~Good ReadsSsSssSsSs~
The forgotten founder of Sexology and how this discipline received its ‘made up’ sounding title - Maude
This story of a woman who was sexually harassed by a co-worker and her workplace didn’t give a shit. This is only all too common. - MotherBoard.
Did you know Dolphins are one of the (many) mammals that have sex entirely for pleasure? Well, can studying dolphin sexual anatomy help us better understand our own pleasure centers? - The New York Times
Why do women and AFAB people fake orgasms? The reasons are more complicated than you might think. - Lioness
That’s it for me this week, pals. I love you. Remember to take deep breaths today. It’s 2022 and while the world is definitely still very scary and uncertain these days, we’re going to keep pushing forward. You’re strong and you have got this.
