Comprehensive Sex Education Could Curb Everyone’s Trauma Around Sex

I wrote this today and sometimes, you need to share.

Hey babe,

I know it’s not Monday, but take a minute to read this.

As much as I hate to see it, we live in a world of sexual ignorance and fear. Society only deems sex acceptable when it falls inside of a cis-heteronormative context. If it’s not “P in the V” sex for making babies, it’s shameful and wrong. We’re told that we should stay as sexually inactive as possible until we’re in a long-term relationship or marriage. If we deviate from these scripts, we’re bad, wrong, and sick in the head.

Excuse me if this sounds dramatic, but it’s an accurate portrayal of the social pressure we all feel. It’s what drives everything from slut-shaming to sexually transmitted infection (STI) stigma—and it results in only 39 states requiring HIV education and/or sex education in school, with only 17 of those states mandating that that sex education be medically accurate.

In what little sex ed we have, there is so much focus on the pregnancy aspect of sexuality that everything else is left out—i.e., the real reasons people even have sex: To get off. To feel good. To feel closer to their partner. To feel good about themselves. To feel desire and to be desired. To feel alive. And on and on. “Not including pleasure as part of sex education and only focusing on the fact that it is the main way to procreate completely avoids the fact that humans are just one of a few ‘animals’ that have sex just for pleasure,” Taylor Sparks, erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven, the largest BIPOC-owned online intimacy shop, tells TheBody. Pigs, bonobos, dolphins—these are just a few of the creatures who bang for pleasure. It is natural!

This lack of proper education contributes greatly to adulthood trauma around sexuality, owning our sexual identities, shame, and general fear. It is only with education that we can reduce the harm of these traumas. If we begin teaching sexuality in a comprehensive, holistic way, we will wind up with a healthier society.

Read more on TheBody, if you like my writing <333

I love you.

XOXO Auntie Gigi