The Kivin Method might be the answer to better oral.
A technique to change the game.
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Hey babe,
Right when we thought we knew absolutely everything about the oral game, we’ve been handed a new, golden technique to up the ante even more. Bless!
Enter: The Kivin Method.
Board-certified sex educator, Linnea Marie, a sexpert at BedBible.com, tells me that the Kivin method actually more of an oral sex ~position~, rather than a full on technique. “It is another approach to cunnilingus, involving the giver lying perpendicular to the receiver allowing oral stimulation to the clitoris and vulva from a side angle.” You’re going side-to-side across the vulva/clitoris, rather than up and down.
While no one seems to have any idea where the name or technique originates, the Kivin method is no joke. Anecdotally, people reported that this method can give vulva-owners orgasms in record time.
Suffice to say: It can be very effective.
“Many who have experienced this say that the angle of the giver’s body increases the sensations and results in more powerful orgasms,” Laurie Mintz, Ph.D. a licensed psychologist, certified sex therapist, and author of Becoming Cliterate tells me. “This is likely because the clitoris gets stimulated in a side-to-side rather than an up-and-down motion.” Super fast, reliable orgasms? Sign us up!
Now, before we crack on, a bit of a disclaimer: I’d be remiss if I didn’t say that, just like with every other oral sex technique or position, not everyone will love this. Every single vulva is different and likes different things. Pleasure is the measure when it comes to orgasms, not trying to master all the different “kinds” of orgasms you can supposedly have. An orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm. ‘Nough said.
But, I am always game for a bit of experimenting. Sometimes finding the perfect oral sex method for your body takes a bit of practice. And that is OK! The Kivin method may help.
If you’re interested in giving the Kivin method a go, I have everything you need to know right here.
How does the Kivin method work?
The Kivin method is all about the position of the body. Rather than being between your partner's legs, face forward into the vulva, you sit perpendicular to their body. “The Kivin method is cunnilingus with a side view,” says Taylor Sparks, an erotic educator and founder of
Organic Loven.
It may sound a bit odd, but Mintz says it’s actually quite straightforward. “The two bodies form a T-shape rather than having their bodies aligned in one straight line,” she says. “The giver approaches the receiver’s genitals from one side or the other. The receiver can then drape [one or both] legs over the giver’s neck or back, or alternatively, place their legs up with their knees against their chest.” Take some time to decide what position feels most comfortable for the receiver.
You then lick over the top of the clitoris (and vulva) and back again. Mintz adds that rather than using the tip of the tongue, a la regular oral, in the Kinvin method you use the whole tongue – really getting all up in there. “This stimulates more of the entire clitoral and vulva area,” she adds.
BING, BANG, BOOM! More orgasms.
How it’s different from other forms of oral.
This might seem obvious by now, but the reason this method is so different is because of the unique positioning of the giver. It offers a whole different kind of stimulation to the receiver which can be both exciting and pleasurable.
Mintz says this shouldn’t be surprising because a lot of clitoris-owners report preferring clit stimulation on one side or the other, versus the top or bottom of the clit. “This position capitalizes on that,” she says. “This method may also be especially erotic for those who masturbate with a side-to-side rather than an up-and-down motion on their clitoral hood.” If you’re a side-to-side girlie (gender neutral!), this one’s for you.
The benefits of the Kivin method.
The Kivin method has a boat load of benes, but the main one: More intense orgasms! “Still, like anything sexual, people vary so while some may love it, for others it may not feel that different from traditional oral sex and others may not like it,” Mintz says. The only way to know is to try it for yourself.
The Kivin method may be extra ideal for those of us who prefer less pressure during oral. “In this position the giver can suck, flick, encircle the clitoris with a little less pressure as some vulva owners need just the slightest amount of stimulation,” Sparks says.
Plus, because you’re using the whole tongue, you’re stimulating more surface area and thus, more nerve endings. Access is everything. “The inner labia can be stimulated as well and that is a highly sensitive area (it is analogous to the shaft of the penis),” Mintz says. “The giver doesn’t have to move their body to get access to other parts of the vulva [in this position].”
5 expert-approved ways to make the Kiven method work for you.
1. Communicate with your partner.
As helpful as this article may be, it isn’t a substitute for real, honest conversations with your partner. Your partner is not a mind reader! “The method is going to take some communicating to get into,” Marie says. Since all vulvas and clitorises are different, they may love this method or they may not – and that’s OK!
Communication ~during play~ is also important. “Expressing whether to go harder or softer, or where the hands should go, can all be a part of learning how to please,” Marie adds.
2. Take time to find a comfortable position.
Figuring out how to make this position work for you will take some patience. “Whether [the receiver] holds their leg up or rests it on their partner's back, it is going to take some readjusting,” Marie says.
Pillows can be awesome aids in this process. Sparks suggests popping one under the receiver's hips for more lift and easier access. Remember, sex doesn’t have to be taken super seriously. We’re all just trying to learn and have the most pleasure possible!
3. Get curious.
Once you’re in position, it’s time to experiment with actually doing it! “Start out slow[ly] and remember to stimulate the entire vulva, especially the hood and to also stimulate other areas (e.g., the inner lips) that the tongue can reach,” Mintz says. “Experiment with different tongue motions (up and down, circular, etc.), [and with] different tongue placements (e.g., all over the hood, directly on the hood, on the labia).”
And do NOT be afraid to get all up in there. Now is not the time for polite eating, y’all!
4. Bring in some toys.
Sparks, a true maven of the sex toy game, tells me that tools and toys are perfect for making this position TOP NOTCH. Try an insertable vibrator for those that enjoy internal stimulation along with external stimulation,” she says. “[Add a] butt plug so that all of the erogenous zones are taken care of. [This] can offer a dual orgasm for those that enjoy anal play.”
5. And speaking of anal …
What’s more, it’s not just vulvas who enjoy this kind of stimulation. Marie points out that while this method is usually reserved for vulvas, it is totally possible to utilize it for anal play, too. Give it a whirl with stimulation of the perineum or while rimming the anus. I’m just chock full of legendary tips today, folx!
The Kivin method is super fun and accessible, no matter what kind of stimulation you enjoy. Get out there and give it a go today!
This week’s mantras:
Exploration is the stuff of life.
I deserve pleasure.
I will love myself.
I love you. Have a great week!
XOXO Auntie Gigi
Part of this newsletter originally appeared on Cosmo.
~Good ReadsSsSssSsSs~
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