Things are looking up, probably.
It looks like things are finally coming together both in the world and ...in my career.
Hey unicorn,
What a wild week it’s been in the UK. Outdoor dining is beginning to open again April 12th. We have most of the vulnerable people in the population vaccinated already. All adults should be able to get a vaccine by July (this last one feels a little too good to be true, but what do I know?) The world is starting to feel alive again.
The weather has been gorgeous here. I’m not trying to brag or be tone-deaf. I know things in Texas have been quite dyer and endless snowstorms are pummeling the east coast. But in England, spring starts early and, as a Chicago girl, I’m beyond grateful for that. The trees are starting to bud. St. Paul’s Cathedral gardens are beginning to bloom. The scent of spring is in the air; that of pollen, grass, and new life.
After a year of so much unending anxiety, insomnia, and general malaise, we seem to have turned a corner. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have faith.
And not only that, I have amazing news!
I’ve been accepted into a very prestigious post-graduate program here in the UK. In 2023, I’ll be a fully accredited psychosexual therapist. This post-grad degree will be the next step I take after finishing my certificate in psychotherapy.
I’m not sure if you remember, but over the last few newsletters (ok over a year, relax), I’ve been having a sort of existential crisis about my career. I’m not a person who can sit still or stay stagnant. I need to be in motion, always learning, always moving to the next thing. Like a shark. A mentally ill shark.
The problem? I just moved here and had no idea what to do. Where do you even begin searching for a program that not only provides ample knowledge but also offers real, hands-on training with clients. I found my program through a dear friend, Lucy Rowett, and immediately fell in love with everything about it. It’s contemporary, focuses on diverse relationships, kink, and much more. It’s a very exclusive program and I’m simply delighted to have been invited to join in September 2021.
Super excited for all that imposter syndrome to kick in about 24 hours lol.
When I called my parents to tell them the news, my mother, in true Siobhan Engle form, asked if this means I’ll be having “sex with my patients.” Not gonna lie, that took some of the wind out of my sails. Nothing like working your ass off to obtain a higher degree and a more psychologically focused career than being asked if you’re a sex worker.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with being a sex worker. I fully support sex work. But mother dearest could have done with a “Congratulations, G, I’m so proud of you!” instead of wondering whether being a psychologist who focuses on sexual health-related issues means I’m fucking my patients.
Anyway, I rarely have a truly good week and I wanted to share this news with you. Thank you to all of you who have been so supportive of my work. I couldn’t be where I am today without you.
This week’s mantras:
I deserve good things.
I am worthy of the successes for which I’ve worked hard.
Pleasure is a beautiful thing that should be enjoyed.
I will love myself.
I love you. Have a great week!
XOXO Gigi
~Good readsSSsSss~
Why We Feel Shame After We Orgasm
For The Body, I explored what many ways pleasure, orgasm, and shame are interconnected due to a host of bio-psycho-social factors at play, both inside our heads and in society at large. When we’re turned on, the part of our brain that registers disgust and fear tends to switch off. Things that we may register as gross, scary, or weird when we’re in a resting state take on erotic meaning once we’re turned on.
Butt Plugs Were Originally Sold As A Miracle Cure For Headaches, Acne, And Insanity
I found this history of the butt plug both very interesting - and informative! There were facts even I, a sex educator, was not aware of. For instance, butt plugs were originally rectal dilators and when they were considered obscene by the board of prudes (not what they were actually called) because they were, um, toys for your asshole, Dr. Young (the butt plug inventor) claimed in a medical journal that the rubber sex toys would be effective in curing insanity. LOL. Honestly, he wasn’t wrong.
ARTICLE BY: James Felton for IFL Science
It's a Sin Provides Better LGBTQ+ Sex Education Than Most High Schools
I was interviewed for Men’s Health about the brand new, critically acclaimed show, ‘It’s a Sin,’ which dramatizes the AIDs crisis in the 80s in a way we could all benefit from. If more queer kids had access to television like this, we’d all be better off.
I think it perfectly illustrates the ways we actively harm society by not providing education," she says. "When we have a crisis like the HIV epidemic happening in an already stigmatized community, it causes further isolation and shame. This furthers the spread of the STI and puts more people at risk. We have a backwards idea that information pushes people into being more sexual or less safe when, in fact, the exact opposite is true. With comprehensive sex education, people are equipped to make conscious choices about their sexuality and their sexual health.
ARTICLE BY: Philip Ellis for Men’s Health
The Butterfly Sex Position Is Hot, Versatile, and Great for Going Deep
For Men’s Health, I dove into the Butterfly Sex Position - an excellent position for people of all genital types. It’s great for going deep - and fantastic if you’re a lazy piece of sh*t like me. This position will make you feel a lot more acrobatic than you actually are. Let’s cancel the idea that if your partner’s legs ain’t behind their ears, it ain’t fun, ya hear? That kind thinking misses the main point of sex: PLEASURE. Not how bendy you are.
‘Apocalypsing’ is the dating trend of the moment
According to a poll of 2,000 singles by digital dating service, Plenty of Fish, it’s the practice of entering any romantic relationship, no matter how casual, with the mentality that it might be, well, your last. You like someone well enough –– they read, their pants fit them, they know that you’re supposed to boil water before you add pasta to the pot. Then bam, next thing you know, you’re welcoming them into your pod for several months of tandem isolation and possibly a Zoom wedding.
ARTICLE BY: Eliza Dumais for Maude
What Women Need to Know About Longterm Relationships
As a sex educator and clinician, I’m regularly asked a host questions when it comes to longterm relationships. This piece from Mind Body Green by sex therapist, Diana Schiftan, really captures the most common queries. The most popular question? Why does the sex stop being so fire after being together for a while. Well, honey, it’s called your brain' and body’s natural hormone cycles. Does that mean the sex can’t stay hot? No! In fact, sex can keep getting better and better forever until you die. I’m not even playing.
ARTICLE BY: Dania Schiftan, Ph.D. for MBG
~A vibe to brighten your Monday~
~ASK GIGI~
What To Do If You Catch Feelings for Your F*ck Buddy
Being chill is so overrated and blown up - it neglects the very real fact that people are not chill literally at all. The thing is, you're not going to be able to figure out if there is anything there unless you come out and ask about it. Being "chill" is millennial for being too insecure to be real with this guy and yourself. There is nothing chill about that.
That’s it for me this week, babe. Be sure to drink lots of water, masturbate at least twice, and take sh*t from no one. I love you.
Don’t forget to share The G-Spot if it was good for you, too.
