What's the deal with dry h0mping?
The skinny on bumpin' and grindin'.
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Hey babe,
Prepare to feel like a teenager again, because today we are talking about dry humping. In case you haven’t heard, the technical term for this kind of sex is ‘frottage.’ I know—what a fun, deeply unsexy word.
Let’s break it down, babyyyyy.
Frottage is a french word that refers to non-penetrative way to have sex. It’s bumpin’ and grindin’!
While frottage may sound delightfully retro, there are some important things we should all know about this less-explored sex act. First of all, it isn’t just for horny teens. Many of us grown-ass adults may engage in dry humping as a part of our larger sexual playtime for a number of reasons—including but not limited to the fact that frottage is, by-and-large, considered one of the safer sex acts.
But this raises an important question: Just how safe is dry humping? And what about pleasure? Because with all the talk of “dry humping causing blue balls” (lol), frottage can get a bit of a bad rap. Rubbing up against someone else’s genitals/thigh can actually be extremely satisfying.
Also worth noting? The fact that while we may think of frottage as foreplay and/or an adolescent form of pre-intercourse sexploration, many people engage in dry-humping as a mainstay of sex—yes, like, sex-sex. For some, frottage may be one of the main events in a given sexual encounter—or maybe it’s the main event. Regardless, the most important thing to know is there is no wrong way to engage with sex as long as everyone is being safe and is a consenting adult.
Alright, so frottage is dry humping and all that, but what does that really mean?
Well, it turns out this is actually quite an expansive term, but the most important aspect is the friction. You can rub genitals, doing a lot of caressing, and generally creating friction together.
How to get your dry hump on.
Frottage can be done with or without clothes. This aspect can be a bit confusing, since the word “dry” implies you’re wearing clothes (or there’s some kind of barrier).
While the ways in which people get their frotting on will vary greatly from frotter to frotter (not sure if that’s a word, but we’re going with it). Usually people do it in missionary. Positioned this way, the person on the bottom has their legs spread with their partner between them, allowing the genitals to line up for easy dry humping access.
Of course, the “best way” to do frottage is any way that brings both you and your partner pleasure. This may take place before other kinds of sex, be the main event, or one of several events that take place during a given sexual encounter. It may happen clothed, naked, or a mix. It may involve toys, role play, or different positions. It’s all about what works for you.
Is dry humping dangerous?
Dry humping is often touted as one of those sex acts that you can’t get an STI from. But how true is this?
While we can confidently say that, in most circumstances, it is pretty unlikely that you or a partner will contract an STI from frottage, there is some nuance to this discussion that deserves investigation.
The risk of getting an STI mostly depends on ~how~ you do frottage—specifically, whether or not you’re wearing clothing. Naked frotting = riskier frotting.
A few STIs, including herpes simplex 1 & 2 (HSV1 and HSV2), HPV, and syphilis (when open sores are present), are transmitted through skin-to-skin contact, and being aware of this can help you take precautions.
If you’re dry humping and you keep your clothes on, you’re in the clear STI-wise, as there is no skin-to-skin contact involved.
Taking precautions for safer dry humping situations.
When it comes to STI prevention, barrier methods are your best friend. Condoms and dental dams can reduce your risk. However, these methods are not 100 percent effective. If exposed genital skin is grinding against exposed genital skin, there is still a possibility of passing or contracting an STI.
You can also try Lorals. These FDA-approved latex “underwear” can be worn by vulva-owners to “block the transmission of bodily fluids [and] harmful pathogens.”
The thing we need to understand is that sex, like most things in life, comes with risks. We need to assess our own risk tolerance and decide for ourselves if we’re okay with it. No sex is ever 100 percent risk-free. Such is life. Getting tested regularly and being aware of (and transparent about) your STI status can keep you and your partners informed.
OK! Hope this helps.
This week’s mantras:
All sex is valid.
I deserve pleasure.
I will love myself.
I love you. Have a great week!
XOXO Auntie Gigi
Part of this newsletter originally appeared on Cosmo.
~Good ReadsSsSssSsSs~
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WE NEED TO give a shoutout to an unsung hero in the bedroom: Fingering. Fingering can be super pleasurable for people with a vulva. We like to think of fingering not just as “foreplay,” but as a part of the main event. This is true with all sex acts. It deserves its moment to shine. I reviewed this piece to make sure it was the most solid advice and tips possible. Read more. - MEN’s HEALTH
That’s it for me this week, pals. I love you. Make sure to see a doctor if you have health concerns. And don’t forget to have an orgasm today. I love you so muchhhhh.
