What is vulv@ mapping? And can it improve your pleasure?

This simple strategy can be a real game-changer.

Feb 10, 2025

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Hey babe,

Vulva mapping is the act of looking, touching, and naming the parts of your vulva and vagina.

Mapping your vulva and vagina may sound like some woo-woo hippy nonsense, but it’s actually a brilliant way to get in touch with your body, alleviate sexual shame and trauma around your vulva, and to experience more intense orgasms (or even have your very first orgasm!)

We have very little information about our glorious vulva. Many of us don’t even know what ours looks like! Taking time to map out your vulva can be a liberating, healing experience. Whether or not you’re a fan of “spiritual practices,” I can guarantee as a sexologist and certified sex coach that it works if you give into it.

At the very least, you should know how you like to be touched and what brings you pleasure. How else are you going to tell your partner how to touch you? They are not mind readers!

Naming your parts

The first thing you need to do is look at your vulva. Yes, I’m talking about sitting in front of a mirror (the bigger the better, but a hand mirror is fine, too) and look at yourself. With so much sexual shame around the vulva, this can be surprisingly difficult for some women to do. We’re told the vulva is ugly, smells weird, and is made for male pleasure.

Well, let me tell you. Your vulva is beautiful. Every single one of them is different. The pornofied, hairless vulvas we’ve come to view as “normal” are far from it. There really is no “normal” when it comes to vulvas.

Sit in front of the mirror. Have your phone or laptop open to a diagram of the vulva. Then, look at yourself and name your parts. The clitoris, your inner and outer labia, your urethral opening, your vaginal opening etc.

OK, let’s get to mapping

You’ll need a long sex toy such as a medical-grade silicone or glass dildo (not all of them look like penises!)

Remember, this is an act of self-love so it’s important that you feel comfortable with the object you're using. If you’d prefer to use fingers, that’s alright too. This is your body.

“Enjoy a short self-pleasuring ritual and get yourself somewhat aroused. Make sure you are wet enough or otherwise use a good-quality lube,” Kristine D’Angelo, a certified sex coach and clinical sexologist, told me in an interview.

Getting a clear picture

Look at your vulva and imagine is has a clock face. “Twelve o’clock is at the top where your pubic bone is and six o’clock is at the bottom pointing towards the anus,” D’Angelo explains, “Insert the dildo about two centimeters into your [vulva] and place its ‘head’ towards the twelve o’clock position. Push the dildo slightly into the flesh of your [vulva.]”

You may experience a lot of emotions while holding the dildo or wand in place. Concentrate and keep it there for a full two minutes. Allow yourself to process and walk through your emotions. Let them come alive. You may even cry, and that’s completely fine.

Move around the clock

“Next, move the head of the dildo towards the one o’clock position, still only about two centimeters. Hold it there for one to two minutes and see what’s there,” D’Angelo explains. “Continue this process around the entire face of the ‘clock’ until you get back to twelve o’clock.”

Take your time. Listen to your body. Take big, full belly breaths. This can be a very scary, emotionally raw experience. It can also be lovely and pleasurable. It can be both!

D’Angelo says to insert the wand deeper, a few more inches. Repeat the clock motion again. See what’s there. See what you feel.

“You might experience pleasure and even an internal orgasm but don’t be attached to any outcome. The important thing is that you keep going and bring touch and awareness to all areas of your [vulva],” she says.

Practice self-care

Once you’ve finished your practice, it’s critical that you take some time for self-care. Take a hot bath, enjoy a glass of wine, and watch one of your favorite movies. If it helps, journal about your mapping experience.

Continue the practice of mapping on a regular basis and note how or if changes occur in your body. “Try practicing this mapping once or twice a week to further bring awareness into you yoni,” D’Angelo says.

Vulva mapping can really be a liberating experience. Once we’re more in touch with our bodies — we’re much more capable of accessing our pleasure. It’s called self-love, babe, look it up!

This week’s mantras:

My vulva is beautiful.
My capacity for pleasure is limitless.
I will love myself.

I love you. Have a great week!

XOXO Auntie Gigi

~Good ReadsSsSssSsSs~

I gave SELF Magazine all my favorite couples toys to get your V-Day to the next spicy level. If sex feeds your bond, it isn’t just some extra fluff you should try to work into your day if you have time. When it’s part of the glue holding you together, it deserves some respect and dedication. Read more. - SELF
Philip Ellis over at Men’s Health interviewed me for another fantastic piece that calls out abusers for using the language of kink to disguise their disgusting behavior. If you didn’t catch my recent newsletter where I went in on this topic, you shouldn’t miss it! But obviously read the Men’s Health piece, too. Read more. — Men’s Health
And another fun and hilarious read from Philip Ellis: Soaking. The Mormon Technique of having sex but staying completely still as a way of preserving “virginity.” Needless to say, this shit is very problematic. Want to lead more? Head over to MH and check it out. Read more. - MEN’S HEALTH