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Hey babe,
Dp is making the headlines these days. And I’m kind of here for it. So, I wanted to break down some thoughts on DP. When I say DP, I am talking about double penetration. Now, I know that this can mean all kinds of things, involve any kind of body, body parts and sex toys — but for today, we’re going to be talking about a specific scenario: 1 vulva owning person and two cis-dudes, wherein the double penetrash is vaginal and anal penetration at the same time.
Why? Well, because this has a lot of implications about autonomy, pleasure, and breaking down sexual taboos. When we’re talking about a vulva-owner or cis-woman getting DP-ed, it is often seen as something being “done” to her. She’s often robbed of agency and the male gaze is cast upon her in full form.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. And, frankly, it shouldn’t be.
OK, let’s get into it.
Why double penetration seems to be gaining popularity.
If I had to render a guess, I’d say that DP is getting more popular as a porn becomes more and more popular, because it's very popular in pornography and erotic materials. Think about some of your favorite scenes: Don’t they usually involve DP of some kind? Probably! For most of us, anyway.
Dp is very visually stimulating — which makes it tempting in both IRL situations and porn. There is a LOT going on there. And it certainly isn’t just for the two male-bodied people doing the penetrating. Everyone can enjoy this act.
There’s a lot of power play involved — and that can be very fun — as long as everyone is consenting to the play. That's probably the biggest appeal, in my opinion. Being submissive when you want to be submissive is really empowering for those who enjoy it.
Another factor to consider is that more vulva-owners and women owners are actually becoming openly interested in this kind of sexual act — and are interested in being submissive in a way they might enjoy. There’s a lot to unpack there. In this position, you’re being so desired that two people just have to have you — share you even. That can be very hot. Or maybe it’s because you’re being ~used~ and, hey, that can be very appealing.
These contexts are made possible by a shift toward sex positivity and female sexual autonomy. As sex positivity becomes more and more a part of our everyday lives, it makes it possible for people to have these experiences in a way that that feels safe and pleasurable for them.
Can DP make sex more pleasurable?
I don’t want to sound like I’m saying: You’ll only have pleasurable sex if you try DP. Not at all. I’m over people spouting this nonsense about all these ways we need to up the ante on our sex game in order to good at it. What even is that? We’re all just here for a good time, trying to have pleasure.
It CAN be fun though — in the right circumstances. And increase pleasure for some for in different ways.
Here are some the main ways DP can be super pleasurable — and why people freakin’ love it.
There’s power play involved — which can be fun.
There’s a ton of stimulation happening. And some people really enjoy having multiple holes stimulated at once.
Being penetrated in your vagina and your anus, has the potential to stimulate the whole clitoral body from the inside. You’re just REALLY getting all up in there.
The anal opening is is full of nerve endings — and for some people are very into anal play for this reason.
It’s very taboo and we are very turned on by things we’re not supposed to want. It’s called being human, henny.
Keep in mind that most vulva-owning humans will need to externally stimulate the clitoris because the vast majority of vulva owners do require that stim to orgasm. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. The clitoris is the queen of female-bodied pleasure, y’all. DP may be fun but it ain’t gonna hit that area at the top of the vulva.
Is DP becoming less stigmatized?
I’d say that DP is definitely becoming less and less of a stigmatized practice as we move toward a place agency and away from shame narratives around sex. DP can certainly be an act that comes from an empowered place.
For men, it really depends on how they feel about sexuality and sex positivity and, frankly, like how you feel about women. If they aren’t steeped in the messaging of misogyny and are of an egalitarian mind around sex, it will be a fun and egalitarian sex act.
I am hopeful for the future and do believe we’re moving in a good direction — one where everyone can enjoy the sex acts they want, without fear of judgement. We all deserve that love and light, you know?
Safety and caution are a must.
Let’s talk about doing DP safely. Because it can be dangerous if you’re not careful. Bodies be delicate.
You want to be really careful with any kind of anal penetration because of the risk of tearing or pain. Go slowly. Use anal dilators. Don’t just jump into DP out of nowhere — you might really rip your ass.
Before doing anything, be prepared to advocate for yourself. If you don’t think you can speak up, this probably isn’t a great idea. Because we need to be able to speak up and let our partners know what’s working and what’s not.
When it comes to anal penetration and vaginal penetration, I would definitely recommend practicing on your own, before engaging with other people because you want to be sure this is stimulation that you enjoy — and how it actually feels for your body. It’s a variety level sex act and you want to be prepared and feeling good about it.
And remember, use all the lube.
This week’s mantras:
I have sexual agency.
I am allowed to be whomever I want as a sexual being.
I will love myself.
I love you. Have a great week!
XOXO Auntie Gigi
~Good ReadsSsSssSsSs~
We need to talk about vaginal wetness, folx. Let’s get into it, because “getting wet” (and staying wet) during sex is actually more complicated than you might realize. Knowing everything about how this process works and what you can do to help it along when things aren’t quite as slippery as you’d like them to be down there is key to enhancing all kinds of sexual experiences. I explored how to get wet (and stay wet) for Cosmo and I am here to myth-bust and get you going on your journey to express your most authentic sexual self, baby! Read more. -COSMO
Curious about strap-ons? You’re far from alone! the draw to strap-ons for people with vulvas can be down to a couple of different dynamics. Maybe you want to wear a strap-on because you want to express dominance, or try penetration. You may also want to try a strap-on because your partner might enjoy penetration but doesn’t necessarily want to be with a person who has a penis. Want to learn more? I gave all my best advice to Gay Times. Read more. - GAY TIMES
A reader wants to know: Is it OK to make a sex tape with my girlfriend … that she wants to then send to her ex? Well, well, well. Voyeurism is being turned on by having people watch you have sex or intimate contact. This request could be considered voyeurism if this is the girlfriend’s primary turn on. There is nothing wrong with this if both her current boyfriend and ex boyfriend agree to making, sharing, and seeing the footage. But there is probably a lot more at play here. Read more. - METRO
I’m going to do a deep dive in this for a future G-spot, but have you heard of Fraysexuality? Fraysexuality basically means you are sexually attracted to people who you don’t know particularly well. Read more. - METRO
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Weekly LOL
And it is DEF working. Romance is alive and well, folx.
That’s it for me this week, pals. I love you. You’re allowed to do anything you want sexually — as long as everyone is a consenting adult. And we shouldn’t be out here shaming anyone for their choices. Ya feel me?