Why are people into temperature play?
From hot wax to ice, people are getting wild with their senses.
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Hey babe,
Happy 2024, you sexy thing! I’m so happy to be back in action and ready to give you all the best tips/advice/information on all things sexual wellness this year. It’s going to be so lit. Buckle up!
In the spirit of the new year: Let’s talk about something HOT (and, well, cold).
Let’s get frisky with temperature play. Because sometimes you want to get a little kinky, but you might not what to go full on whips and chains right away, you know?
What is temperature play?
Temperature play is a favorite in BDSM. From hot wax, to ice, to fire, to getting hosed down it’s all a part of the same set of turn ons. This play is not just for kinksters - anyone can do it. It’s a very good place to start, as long as you’re being safe.
Experimenting with hot and cold objects is an easy and affordable way to try sensation play. If you’re not one to jump right into spanking, handcuffs, blindfolds and other forms of kink, temperature play can ease you into the rougher stuff. It’s all in the same vein of heightened feeling and upping the ante on eroticism during sex.
Getting turned on and then getting off does not simply entail sticking an object inside of a vagina. Our bodies are complex. Take time to explore what turns you on. There are infinite possibilities.
Why are people trying this more often these days?
People are trying temperature play more often these days because we're simply getting more adventurous in the bedroom. Trying things that might once have been considered taboo is becoming more mainstream and acceptable. Sex toy sales absolutely skyrocketed during the pandemic, shedding light on the growing interest in kink and other forms of more non-vanilla play.
We're also seeing an increase in this kind of play, in particular, because it's very accessible. You can simply grab an ice tray out of the freezer to give this play a try. It's quite simple to -- and I believe that makes it less "scary" when you're looking to try new things sexually.
Why it’s appealing.
Temperature play is appealing because of our heightened sensitivity to touch and sensation. Our brains become quite primal when we’re turned on. We want to touch and explore everything on ours and our partner’s body.
Feeling something cold (or hot) on certain areas sends a shock through the system. It’s something we’re not expecting. Experiencing that level of surprise increases blood flow and heart rate … only furthering our sexual intensity and desire.
It’s not just a shock that plays a role, but the flow of feeling. It is sensual exploration. It’s relaxing and sexy.
Be aware of what you’re using for this kind of play. You do not just go and find a household candle and start dripping wax on your partner’s thighs. You want to use a candle designed for this play (like this one!).
If you're doing cold-play, plan ahead. Pop your toys in the freezer a few hours before you get down and dirty. Always be sure to test the toy on your hands and arms, to ensure it is "too cold." Because no one wants freezer burn.
Remember to always communicate with your partner to make sure everyone is having a great time and is experiencing pleasure. Check-ins are always very important.
This week’s mantras:
Experimentation keeps sex spicy.
I will ask for what I want.
I will love myself.
I love you. Have a great week!
XOXO Auntie Gigi
~Good ReadsSsSssSsSs~
Did you know that I love writing about kink? I know, shocking news. Shibari, or kinbaku, is the art of Japanese rope tying. It falls under the “B” in BDSM—Bondage. Kinbaku actually means “tight binding,” and shibari means “tying.” It’s a true art form that takes great skill and practice—we’re talking tying people into human chandeliers and tying countless, intricate knots for hours on end. Mastering Shibari can take years and years of dedication. This advanced kink practice isn’t for everyone, but for the (deeply patient) Shibari lover, it is everything. Read more. - COSMO
Rimming, also called a rim job, tossed salad, and analingus, is oral sex involving mouth-to-anus contact. It is some seriously next-level, sensation-packed stuff. According topsychotherapist Lee Phillips, Ed.D, a certified sex and couples therapist, rimming can involve licking, kissing, and sucking the anus. “The person performing rimming may partially insert their tongue in the anal canal by moving it in and out and using a circular motion with their tongue,” he adds. There really are so many ways to do it. Check out my latest guide for all the tips you need to be the most legendary rimmer ever. Read more. - COSMO
Another day, another amazing sex position to try. This time it’s the Prone Bone — aka: Flat Doggy Style. You don't have to go very deep to stimulate the G-spot (or P-spot, if you're having anal sex), so a small penis may actually work to your advantage in this positionConversely, if you have a big penis, you gotta be careful wielding that bad boy in this position. If it feels too deep, the bottom can adjust their body to limit the top's depth. Read more. - MEN’S HEALTH
This article on HuffPo’s Love Struck column was super interesting. A reader wants to know: If my wife doesn’t want sex, can I seek it elsewhere? As the therapist who answers this dilemma points out: The word ‘can’ is super interesting here. It isn’t about getting permission to go outside of your marriage contract without consent, it’s about discussing and openly communicating about the possibilities of a non-monogamous structure within a current partner, if sex really is not on the table anymore. Asking for permission to cheat is not going to end well! Read more. - HUFFPO
Weekly LOL
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That’s it for me this week, pals. I love you. You’re a magical moment. Truly.