Why ethical po-n is actually good for you.
Stop shaming people for having normal ero-tic desires.
Hey babe,
Let’s talk smut. Because we really, really need to.
I don’t think I’d ruffle any feathers by saying that when it comes to porn, people have … feelings. On one end of the spectrum you have people who think porn is the work of Satan and everyone who consumes it is headed straight for the pit, and on the other end you have people who are downright obsessed with it.
Most of us fall somewhere in the middle: we watch porn as part of our lives, without any radical feelings around it.
It’s pretty ironic that the people who are super against porn are also super against sex education, which has lead us to treat porn like sex education.
Here is the skinny, y’all: Porn is not inherently bad or evil. And it’s not sex education. When used in a healthy way, porn can actually be GOOD for you.
porn is a form of entertainment.
Porn was not designed to teach you about real life sex. Trying to learn how to be good at sex, how to be a considerate sexual partner, or what good sex practices look like from porn is like trying to learn to be a parent by watching Bad Moms. It makes no sense.
So, where is the disconnect? It’s actually simple: Human beings have sexuality. When there is nowhere to turn for proper education, we work with what we can find. Porn is available readily online. Ipso facto: porn is the thing we use as an educational tool to learn about sex. This isn’t porn’s fault, its society’s fault.
Porn is a highly stylized, scripted movie about people having sex. Most of the time the free stuff you can find online isn’t particularly high quality and it nearly never highlights female pleasure or depicts acts that would come remotely close to producing an orgasm for anyone who owns a clitoris.
we need to reframe our thinking.
If we could all get our head out of our bums and accept porn for what it is (and isn’t) and remove the shame, we could actually have the time and space to find high-quality erotic material that prioritizes female pleasure.
If we had open and honest conversations about sex, maybe we’d have better real life sexual experiences and stop wondering why getting jackhammered by some kid from our Bio class isn’t producing orgasms the way it did for that mildly-bored-looking actress on PornHub.
This conversation about porn is particularly important to have when it comes to women and our collective and individual relationships with porn. Male folks are not the only ones watching and enjoying smut. Women watch porn too. It’s time we stopped pretending we don’t and change the way we think.
porn is good for you (and your sex life).
Porn is just for entertainment and it can up the ante on your sex life. It’s like adding a little spice to an already awesome experience.
Porn is not some scary, dark showy web that is going to ensnare your soul and leave you for dead, babe. It’s an erotic tool that can help you explore different fantasies in a way that can enrich your sex life – both solo and partnered. It wakes up your erotic imagination in new ways by giving you imagery to work with outside of your imagination.
A great way for couples to connect and get on the same page with porn is to watch it together. Try finding a video you both find sexy and masturbate next to each other. Check out porn creators like afterglow (obvs), Erika Lust, PinkLabel TV, and Deeper. There is something out there for you. I promise!
Using porn can be a problem if you’re using it so much that real sex feels boring or under-stimulating The important thing is to keep track of your use and make sure it isn’t affecting other areas of your life or your relationship.
As long as your porn habits are helping to improve your overall happiness and well-being, rather than detracting from it, there is nothing to worry about. Enough with the fear mongering. Let people enjoy their smut in peace.
***If you’ve been having issues finding porn you’re into, check out Afterglow. This amazing new platform offers up high-quality, passion, and actual sex people want to be having. Use code XOGIGI as the code for the 14 day FREE trial membership.***
This week’s mantras:
Pleasure is healthy.
Pleasure is my right.
I deserve all the good things.
I love you. Have a great week.
I love you, have a great week!
XOXO Auntie Gigi
~Good ReadsSsSssSsSs~
The Best Masturbation Toys for Penises
For GQ, I rounded up some of my favorite stroker sleeves. You may be thinking that these toys are seedy or strange. You may remember cringing the first time you heard the term “Fleshlight.” But, like all of the best sex toys for men, masturbation sleeves simply give guys a chance to experiment with their pleasure and to try new kinds of stimulation, and there's nothing wrong with that.
How to Clean Your Sex Toys
I chatted with PureWow this week about why cleaning your sex toys is so important - because it really is the biggest mistake we make. Like, bigger than forgetting to charge them (though that’s probably the most ANNOYING thing). When you don’t clean your sex toys, they gather bacteria and this can lead to serious infections. Read the directions that come with your toy and thoroughly clean your sex toys after every single use. I’m not playing here!
Everything You Should Know About The ‘U Spot’
I spoke with Health all about the U-spot (the urethral opening) and some things you should know so you can play in a safe and healthy way. This highly sensitive area needs to be treated with more care than a vintage champagne glass from 1956. You need to be so, so careful so read the full article before you go messing around with it.
~Ask Gigi~
Ask Gigi: How to Use Your Hands for Masturbation
There are all kinds of ways to masturbate, and no one is better than the other. Do whatever feels good for you. For people with vulvas, clitoral stimulation often feels really good, and might be the easiest way to achieve orgasm. In fact, studies show that nearly every clit-owner requires some sort of external stimulation - start with hands, if you're not ready to have a toy in order to have an orgasm.
That’s it for me this week, pals. I love you. Go watch some quality porn because it rocks and it’s healthy and normal and not just gross stolen BS.
Don’t forget! New and fabulous erotic film company, Afterglow is offering my G-spot readers an amazing deal. Use code XOGIGI as the code for the 14 day FREE trial membership.
