Why making seggs silly is actually a good idea.
Seggs should be fun, after all.
[This newsletter will always be free to read, but it’s also how I supplement bills and such - which allows me the flexibility to bring you the best possible sex education every week. So, if you like what you read, please consider a paid subscription.]
Hey babe,
If you ask me, we take sex way too seriously. We’re too focused on being ~erotic~ to even enjoy ourselves at this point. We’re zeroing in on how our thighs look from this angle instead of getting off. We’re very in our heads and not in our bodies.
If we’re going to have sex, it should be fun. Couples shouldn’t strive for perfection, they should strive for enjoyment. Sex is a game. It is about two people, with an emotional connection (of some sort), giving each other orgasms and pleasure.
Why make it anything other than a great time for you and your boo?
Obviously, society has us screwed up about sex. It doesn’t have to be this cumbersome, over-the-top performance you see on RedTube or PornHub (which are entertainment, not reality). If you stop acting like sex is an on-screen, professionally lit, fake everything experience, you wind up with something real.
Humans are weird and we should be brave enough to acknowledge that. We have weird bodies that make strange sounds. Embrace your body and all of its oddities. Approach sex from a more relaxed POV and you’ll probably find the experience more fulfilling.
If you have less anxiety about your sexual prowess, you’re more likely to come. Stress is the antithesis of sexual pleasure.
How do you go about letting go of insecurity? You make a conscious effort to have silly sex. I don’t mean bringing a whoopie cushion (do these still exist?) into the bedroom or squirting your partner in the face with a water gun (unless you’re into that, no judgement), I’m not talking about playing jokes.
I just mean treating sex like it’s a game of Twister or Candyland. Let it be fun. Fun can be hot.
If something feels weird, or doesn’t quite fit, or isn’t working well, don’t freak out. It’s OK to laugh. The truth is, none of us know what the hell we’re doing during sex because no one ever teaches us this stuff. We know the basics, but every time we have it, we’re learning something.
If you can laugh, you can do anything together. If one of you farts, and instead of being embarrassed, just bursts into a fit of laughter, you can bet that person really cares about you. You’re fostering closeness by opening yourself up to scrutiny, and making your bond stronger because you know there won’t be any.
Not to mention, if you feel completely comfortable having sex with someone, you’re certainly going to want to have MORE sex. This is an all-around orgasm increasing endeavor, my friends.
What could spell out comfort like the ability to laugh at yourself when you’re naked and vulnerable?
If you can laugh, you’re in a place of trust and that is super beautiful. We all deserve a relationship like that.
Sex is an amazing way to explore new things with the person you’re dating, on an emotional level. If you can laugh through a sexual screw up, you can laugh through anything. Enough with all the pressure. Just live your life and go get some.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk!!!!
This week’s mantras:
Sex doesn’t need to be serious all the time.
I deserve fun.
I will love myself.
I love you. Have a great week!
XOXO Auntie Gigi
Watch my new webinar!
I hosted a fun and sexy webinar with Sex with Emily all about sexual shame. Check it out!
~Good ReadsSsSssSsSs~
Have you heard of the Cinderella Rule when it comes to sex? Because, honestly, I hadn’t. But I did find this pretty interesting. Basically, it seems to come down to strategically scheduling sex and setting boundaries. Alice Giddings, the Metro’s sex and relationships reporter, said in a recent story that she swears by this rule. “Simply set a cut-off point in your head for when intimacy will no longer be on the cards – this way you don’t have to worry about being exhausted the next morning,” Giddings explained. My ‘turn into a pumpkin’ cut off is 10:30 p.m., and ideally this is when it’ll be lights out and off to snoozeville. This means my cut-off for intimacy starting is 10:10 p.m. latest…” Now I don’t know if this would actually work for everyone. What do you think? Read more. — NEW YORK POST
Ever heard of an “otter?” This term for a certain type of gay men is being more widely embraced and I, for one, am happy to see it! According to writer, Zachary Zane, an otter is a “term to describe a man who has a slim to average build, with body and facial hair, and a more masculine appearance is called an otter.” Ya know, not as small as a twink, but not as big and hairy as a bear. Read more. — MEN’S HEALTH
I have been trying to get an editor to commission me to write about eh syntribation technique in masturbash for literally EVER. But, while I was never successful, I’m happy to see someone writing about it. Read more. — WELL+GOOD
Weekly LOL
I know I’m a child, but this cracked me up.
That’s it for me this week, pals. I love you.
