This is why role play turns you on so much.
The jury is in and has made a final decision: Role play is hot. Well, when it's done correctly it’s hot.
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Hey babe,
Let’s talk role play.
What is role play? It’s a game. You choose a character you want to be and your partner plays the adjacent role. The idea is to get totally into character. It’s almost like making your own porno. In fact, pretending to be in a porno might be the role play. It’s a “choose your own adventure” kind of sex thing.
Role playing is a break from normal, vanilla sex. It’s a chance to explore fantasies and kinks outside of your routine. You can be anyone you want to be, do anything you want to do.
While there is a lot of information on “how” to role play (it is pretty intuitive) -- But, what is it about this kind of sexual play that is so hot?
Why, oh why, does role play turn us on so much? What is happening inside our brains during these sex games that make us crazy? You might have guessed it, babe. I have the answers you’ve been waiting for.
Reason #1: You embody a fantasy
There is something extremely tantalizing about becoming a person you’ve always wanted to be … and then having sex, kink play, or other forms of intimate play. You’re metaphorically wearing someone else’s skin for the evening.
You and your partner (or partners) have a chance to step outside of your daily roles and be whomever you want to be. Whether it’s a couple from a movie (Pulp Fiction, anyone?), a football player and cheerleader, a handyperson and a hot housewife, a Dom and sub -- anything is possible when you’re role playing.
Plus, dirty talk. You can say many of the things that turn you on while being this other person, things you may not say on a regular sex night. As long as you’ve checked in with your partner beforehand, role play lets you be as dirty as you want to be.
It’s a safe space where you can let go. You and your partner are not just acting out a fantasy, you’re a part of the fantasy.
Reason #2: You get to play dress up
One of the hottest parts of the role is having total control over the scene. You can role play by simply taking on a certain character and talking dirty to each other -- that’s totally hot. But, you can also choose to have more elaborate scenes; ones with costumes and gear. Hurray for sex toys!
Say, for example, you want to do a college student/professor role play. You can go to the store and buy a coed-esque outfit and a pair of fake glasses for your partner. Perhaps you even want a riding crop since you’ve been a bad girl? Hey, I’m just spitballing here.
Preparing for a scene is a kind of mental foreplay. You’re already playing the role before you begin the scene. Buying things for your role play and setting up the gear is super sexy and can get the gears turning. Touching a leather riding crop, seeing a certain outfit you plan to wear, and imagining all the things your partner will do to you later -- it’s one, giant collective turn on. You’re already thinking about what’s to come.
Reason #3: It satiates the brain’s desire for novelty
As anthropologist, Dr. Wednesday Martin points out in her book, Untrue, one of the main things that keeps a spark alive in monogamous relationships is novelty (for many couples, anyway). For many of us, it’s hard to want what we already have. Role play offers that taste of the unknown that many of us crave. Put simply, it is new. It’s something different.
We’re playing out a fantasy that we have not yet tried before. Role play offers more than just a new sex move or toy, it gives you a chance to be someone new. You and your partner get to be different people.
As much as we may not want to admit it, the vast majority of people fantasize about others. It’s completely normal and healthy. It’s one of the beautiful things that makes the wild imagination of human beings so unique.
Reason #4: You’re pushing yourselves into fun new territory
We love our comfort zones. They are cozy and we don’t want to stray outside of them. This makes us open to vulnerability. When you’re role playing, you’re essentially knocking yourself out of the comfort zone with one, large push.
Hello! Here we are in new terrain!
There is something nerve-wracking, but also super exciting and sexy about being on new sexual footing, especially if you’ve been together or married for a long time. It feels like you’re catapulted back in time to the first few sexual experiences you had with your partner. It’s all unexplored once again.
You may feel a little embarrassed, nervous, and silly -- but it’s also a huge turn on.
Anyway, I hope I have you some fun ideas to try – maybe tonight! Happy role playing!
This week’s mantras:
My desires are not shameful as long as everyone is a consenting adult.
It’s ok to explore fantasy.
I will love myself.
I love you. Have a great week!
XOXO Auntie Gigi
~Good ReadsSsSssSsSs~
Ever heard of kittenfishing? Kittenfishing is considered a form of 'less intense' catfishing wherein you change certain details or hide certain things about your life/and appearance in order to seem 'better' to a potential partner. You may also not feel confident about certain aspects of yourself and therefore choose not to share them on social media. You may know its counterpart: Catfishing. Catfishing is when you literally pretend to be a completely different person. In catfishing, there is usually some kind of con that in involved whether that be financial gain or emotional gain. Most people who kittenfish aren’t doing that. Read more. — MEN’S HEALTH
I have been saying that the Wheelbarrow is actually one of the most fun sex positions ever. And this explainer will tell you why. If you like really deep penetrash, this one is for you. Read more. - MEN’S HEALTH
Ya’ll know I am obsessed with shopping for sex toys in reputable places — despite definitely having written SEO-focused pieces about how to shop on Amazon in the past. But, this roundup of the bests sex toy shops should be BOOKMARKED by one and all. Read more. — COSMO
This piece on having sex when you’re blind was so informative and interesting. Definitely recommend giving it a read. Read more. — DISABILITY HORIZONS
Weekly LOL
If the show fits, it fits.
That’s it for me this week, pals. I love you.
