Your guide to understanding the cl*tOr!s

Where I break down everything you need to know.

Aug 04, 2025

[This newsletter will always be free to read, but it’s also how I supplement bills and such - which allows me the flexibility to bring you the best possible sex education every week. So, if you like what you read, please consider a paid subscription.]

Hey babe,

Understanding the clitoris is easily one of the most important knowledge bases to have if you want to deliver amazing pleasure and mind-blowing orgasms to female-bodied partners. It is truly the epicenter of pleasure for clitoris-owners.

“The clitoris and the penis are considered homologous structures – they develop from the same embryonic tissue,” Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and author of Becoming Cliterate told me over email. So, to put this in perspective, the clitoris is as important to female pleasure as the penis is to male pleasure. I’m truly not joking around here, folx.

The issue? Not a lot of people actually know where it is, how important it is, and how to stimulate it properly.

You’re not alone in wondering about this and I am delighted that you’re interested in learning more about it! Well, at least I assume you do because you’ve read this far into the newsletter. Let’s crack on.

What is the clitoris, exactly?

Firstly, let’s start with one of my favorite facts of all: The clitoris is the only organ in the human body that’s sole functional purpose is pleasure. Which is pretty cool, if you ask me.

It is just absolutely chock-full of nerve-endings. “It contains approximately 10,000 nerve endings which is just as many as the head of the penis, but much more concentrated because it's a much smaller surface area,” Lucy Rowett, a certified sex coach and clinical sexologist, told me via email.

It’s important to understand that the clitoris is absolutely ESSENTIAL to female-bodied pleasure. Mintz says we should be considering clitoral stimulation as just as important as penetrative sex. “Stop hoping and expecting that your partner orgasms during intercourse and instead take turns orgasming,” Mintz says, “This way you and your partner both get to immerse in your own pleasure when it’s your turn and get to experience the joy of the other person’s pleasure when it’s their turn.”

Where is the clitoris located?

The clitoris is actually pretty enormous – which might be shocking to some people. “It might look small on the outside – despite it actually being an entire organ where the nerve endings go into the whole pelvic bowl,” Rowett says.

When we think of the clit, we often think of the glans – that small bud-like structure at the top of the vulva. The glans clitoris is about 0.5 to 2 cm in size. As with most things in the human body, size will vary from person to person. Every single clitoris, regardless of color, size, or shape is natural and normal.

Many of us missed the lesson on the internal clitoris – probably because no one ever told us (Thanks, sex ed!). It extends beneath the labia and into the abdomen. You cannot see it when you simply look directly at a vulva. The internal clitoris, or clitoral body, can reach up to five inches in some women (with the average being about 7 cm). Ironically, five inches is actually the average size of the male penis.

The clit contains bulbous internal extensions (the vestibular bulbs) and wings on either side (the cura). It actually looks a lot like a wishbone, if you look at the whole thing at once.

To get even more interesting, the clitoris is actually NOT part of the vagina. It is a part of the vulva, the external part of female sexual anatomy. The “vagina” refers only to the vaginal canal.

Like the penis, the clitoris experiences erections, as it contains similar erectile tissue to that of the penis, which becomes engorged during sexual excitement and arousal.

The clitoris and penis are both sensory organs. In a sexual sense, this means they are both sensitive to touch, arousal, and have the ability to give us lots of orgasms. What’s more, both sex organs have corresponding regions. The head of the penis is homologous to the glans clitoris, with the foreskin and clitoral hood being related in a similar way.

Why this matters in the bedroom

The clitoris is, if I haven’t made this perfectly clear yet, central to female orgasm. If we ignore the clitoris, we are highly unlikely to offer our female-bodied partners much pleasure – let alone orgasms!

Penetrative sex, I hate to tell you, doesn’t often offer the external clitoral stimulation needed to provide orgasms. According to data from OMGYes, only 5-15 percent of female-bodied people orgasm through penetration alone. According to research on female masturbation, the vast majority of female-bodied people masturbate by stimulating their vulva and clitoris – roughly 86.5 percent of AFAB people. What this tells us is that external stimulation is the way most people with clitorises experience orgasm.

So, yes, it’s pretty important for good sex! We have to stop thinking about “foreplay” as some kind of prelude to the “main event” (PIV intercourse). Clitoral stimulation through hands, fingers, mouths, and toys is just as important to sex as penetration.

FAQs:

“Is the clitoris the same as the G-spot?”

The clitoris and the G-spot are two parts of the same structure. At least, kind of. The external clitoris is the part of the clit that you can see on the outside. The G-Spot is the intersection of three internal structures: The vagina, the clitoris, and the urethral sponge (also known as the CUV area). When you’re stimulating the G-spot, you’re stimulating the internal body of the clitoris – as well as the vagina and urethral sponge.

“Do all women and AFAB folx like clitoral stimulation?”

While the vast majority of female-bodied people do enjoy clitoral stimulation, not everyone will. The thing is, all humans are different and some female-bodied people may not enjoy having their clitoris stimulated. This is why it’s always really important to have open and honest conversations about how someone likes being touched in order to ensure everyone has the best sexual experience possible.

Does clitoral stimulation always lead to orgasm?

Orgasm is a complex neurobiological process. While clitoral stimulation is a great avenue to provide orgasms for female-bodied people – it might not always result in an orgasm. Instead of focusing entirely on orgasm as the “main goal,” try focusing on pleasure. It’s about the journey, not the destination.

This week’s mantras:

Sexual knowledge is sexual power.
Everyone deserves pleasure.
I will love myself.

I love you. Have a great week!

XOXO Auntie Gigi

Part of this newsletter originally appeared on Men’s Health

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